Love is a wonderful thing. We all want and need it. It is, though, a two-sided coin. The love that brings so much happiness and joy can so easily transform into a painful and sorrowful experience when a relationship ends.

A break-up should be sad for both partners, even if they have long been resigned to separating. After all, a relationship is an investment of time and emotion. When it ends,  it can feel like a terrible, heartbreaking waste and a lost opportunity for something more permanent.

Little wonder that it can leave a sensitive being with feelings of grief. But how do to deal with these dark feelings?

Dealing with love and hurt

Only an Ogre would go out and party when a relationship ends. For the majority of people, it is a time of deep reflection, with less interaction and communication with others.

Being human, you will need time and space to heal – that’s perfectly understandable. However, at the same time, you must be careful you do not wander into a maze of useless self-obsession and self pity, from which escape is difficult.

To avoid this dark and lonely place, I recommend you do the following:

Share your feelings

Let your feelings out, and don’t be embarrassed to air them in public. You have just lost a potential life partner. It’s not like a job interview that goes badly, and then you just move on to the next one, hoping for a better outcome. Trapped feelings are like a poison in your system and can make you cynical and closed – definitely not good for starting a new relationship.

Talk about it

Talk  about your relationship with your friends or family. I am sure they will be able to relay their own heartbreak experiences and how they got over them. Empathy can be a great comfort. Don’t be unapproachable to those who want to help you. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to those in your immediate circle, you might consider talking to a psychic, for objective, non-judgmental advice. Love and relationships are what psychics know about perhaps more than anything else.

Rediscover your passions

Don’t stop, keep moving! In other words, don’t give up on the things you really enjoy doing – that do not need a partner (no matter how much you think they do!). The best activities are those that involve meeting up with other people who enjoy doing the same activity. So don’t listen to music alone at home – go to a concert with your friends. You may rediscover a passion for old activities that you thought you had lost. If you are artistically inclined, you might use your art to express your feelings on your relationship. You could create something beautiful from failure.

Reflect in a realistic way

Reflect on the past in a realistic way. A relationship is about two people being happy together and being able to overcome the differences that inevitably arise after the so-called “honeymoon” period. Clearly, this was not achievable if a couple have decided to part company. Even if one of them appeared to be blissfully happy: there can’t just be one happy person in a relationship. Don’t create a fantasy past that is all sunshine and happiness – even in great relationships, that’s just not the way things are. Indeed, remember the good times, but also acknowledge the bad times.

When a relationship that matters breaks down, we cannot avoid the pain of heartbreak. We can, though, choose how to react to it. The choices we make will determine how successfully the sense of grief is overcome.